The Substitute Sister

Oh, Darlings! What is it with boring romances lately? Can’t anyone write a good, steamy sex scene anymore? I delved into The Substitute Sister by Lisa Childs expecting a fun, gothic romance with brooding men and waves splashing on rocks. What I got instead was a whiney heroine, a very bizarre man and a romance that had no fire to drive away the cold nights.

And this Dame has a lot of cold nights, Darlings, due to the fact that I just can’t find Mr. Right. Or even Mr. Right Now. It’s very sad Darlings, but don’t cry for me (Argentina), cry for this novel. Darlings, it just left me cold!

Sasha hasn’t spoken to her twin sister Nadine since her husband to be ditched her at the alter and went after Nadine instead. Now, years later, she finds out that her sister has been murdered and has left behind a two year old girl named Annie and Reed, a cop who felt more for her sister than friendship.

When Sasha arrives on Sunset Island, she finds more than she bargained for. Her sister left her a house, a large mansion on a cliff, where mysterious things happen at night. And there is an attraction building between Sasha and Reed, the disturbed cop. But does he love her or her dead sister?

With a killer on the lose, Sasha and Reed must race against time to find the killer and give in to the passion that threatens to consume them.

You would think this book would be exciting. You would think that this Dame would love the paranormal element in the story. But I was so BORED Darlings! I have never been so bored in my life, except if you count the time I was dating the grammar teacher with the small penis. Every time I’d have a fake orgasm in bed and cry out “Oh god oh god oh god!” and he would stop what he was doing and say: “That’s a run on sentence, Vanessa. It really should be Oh god comma oh god comma oh god period. You don’t want to over use the exclamation mark.”


At any rate darlings, stay away from this one. It just made me want to fall asleep and left me with a weird, funny feeling that reminds me of how I feel after a visit from Jehovah Witnesses. Two pearls, Darlings, and that’s being generous!

Till the next read! May it be better than this one!

Kiss Kiss,

Dame Vanessa Charles

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